This was a real advertisement sent around a Catholic school at prom time.
SO YOU WANT A DATE TO THE HSHS PROM?
BOY THE HELL DO I TOO.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not a loser or anything, but let's face it - I'm not Catholic and this prom ain't easy to get into!
You may be thinking, "naw, she'd never go with me," but I can assure you, I HAVE DEFINITELY DATED SOMEONE, AT SOME POINT, WHO WAS UGLIER THAN YOU. After all, I seem to have dated just about everyone.
WHY AM I A GOOD DATE?
1. I don't own any Backstreet Boys CD's.
2. I'm not gay.
3. I'm breathing.
4. I'm not inflatable.
5. I can provide a car - and it's probably much nicer than yours, or else you'd have a date already.
6. Am I sexy? A recent poll showed that 7 out of 10 guys said yes. And the other three were dickheads.
7. I will actually attempt to dance with you at prom, at least once.
WHO AM I?
Why do you care? You're desperate! But if you have any self-esteem left after reading this, PUT YOUR NAME, NUMBER, AND AN ESSAY OF THREE WORDS OR MORE on an index card and give it to one of my representatives, or to Vanessa, Melissa, Megan, or Anthony. (I'm not one of these people, so don't make that ASSUMPTION.)
WHY DID I CAPITALIZE SO MANY WORDS?
Because people like you have short attention spans.
DID YOU LIKE THE MOVIE CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON?
That has nothing to do with this, but you have to admit, it is a good movie.